Stream it now Torque 2004

 

I don't know if this movie is taking itself seriously or not. If it is, this is a terrible movie. If it isn't this movie is amazing.

Either way, everyone should see this film, just for some perspective. A great movie to laugh at for all the wrong reasons.

SO bad its funny. The last chase scene...

The most "spectacular" motor chase at the end...suddenly, I laughed out loud. They say, they make these erratic edits, because of the short attention span today youngsters egzibit. Well, in this case, a Collibri would get an headache.

:)

TORQUE REVIEW

AFTER MY FOLLOW UP APPOINTMENT ON TUESDAY IT'S OFFICIAL. I MUST HAVE SURGERY. I HAVEN'T HAD ANY TYPE OF SURGERY SINCE I WAS 4. THIS SHOULD BE SOME SORT OF CRAZY ADVENTURE. A MONTH AGO I WAS COMPLAINING, 3 WEEKS LATER I'M APPROVED TO GET SURGERY. SICKO CAME TO MIND AS I WAS SIGNING ALL OF THESE MEDICAL FORMS. ONE OF THEM SAID THAT IF THE INSURANCE COMPANY DOESN'T APPROVE OF MY OPERATION I WAS RESPOSIBLE FOR ALL PAYMENTS. *SHAKES HEADS*

TORQUE. I LOVE MY TORQUE. I MAY BE A BIT BIASED ON THIS ONE. WHEN I FIRST SAW THIS FILM WHEN IT WAS RELEASED ON DVD I DIDN'T LIKE IT TOO MUCH. THE ACTING WAS SPOTTY AND, ALONG WITH THE REST OF THE MOVIE, THE SPECIAL EFFECTS WERE CARTOONISH. WELL, A COUPLE OF YEARS LATER I FIND MYSELF OBSESSED WITH CROTCH ROCKETS. I POP TORQUE EXPECTING A MUSIC VIDEO ATTEMPTING TO BE A MOVIE WITH A WHOLE BUNCH OF SEXY PEOPLE RIDING CROTCH ROCKETS AND MUCHO AMOUNTS OF ACTION AND EXPLOSIONS. I WASN'T DISAPPOINTED. I WAS ACTUALLY KIND OF IMPRESSED. TORQUE IS PURE, OVER-THE-TOP FUN.

PROS: FLASHY VISUALS, CROTCH ROCKETS, SEXY CAST
CONS: HIGH LEVELS OF CHEESE, CARTOONISH SPECIAL EFFECTS

SCORE: 8.3 OUT OF 10

Downfall (Oliver Hirschbiegel, 2004)
I'm not at all fussed by the treatment of Hitler as a person rather than an icon of belligerent evil-it is the very fact that he was a person, ordinary in many respects, that makes him a singular warning to humanity-and the film is well-done, only it covered much of the same ground I'd seen in Blind Spot: Hitler's Secretary, so new insight was lacking.

Cold Mountain (Anthony Minghella, 2003)
Jude Law is a Homeric hero in the middle of a Civil War; the heroes and villains are mostly bland cutouts (Renee Zellweger's character being a minor exception. Goes nowhere, not fast.

Torque (Joseph Kahn, 2004)
Terrible. Just, just terrible.1/10

Psychomania (Don Sharp, 1971)
If you think frogs are scary, then this film will freak your shit out. If you are not a weirdo, however, it will just be a bland, semi-amusing movie that could have only been made in the early '70s, when prissy long-haired motorcyclists were the quintessence of evil. Okay, they're also zombies, but let's face it, they are really lame zombies.

Demon Seed (Donald Cammell, 1977)
A lot of things happen in this film that make no sense at all, like a guy going missing for a month and nobody he works with seeming to notice-and Julie Christie never seems totally comfortable as the kidnap/rape victim of a computer. (I mean, yeah, being kidnapped and assaulted by a computer would be uncomfortable, but that's not the sort of uncomfortable she is, if you follow me.) On the other hand, the "HAL times Satan" concept is interesting and the bizarre finale is mesmerizing.

Here's my first post on RT... seems a little redundant considering I already post a blog on LiveJournal (albeit infrequently); but seeing as I love this site, I'll probably update more often than not here. That has yet to be seen of course...

So I love my MVP membership at Hollywood Video, however, due to my incessant renting habits, I've more or less exhausted the majority of quality films available for my viewing pleasure. So in light of that, have been renting the most ridiculous movies I can conceive of while doing my daily perusals... here's a list -- holy god, I astound myself with what I can bear to watch.


TORQUE
So whoever directed this should get a prize... seriously. Not only is it quite possibly the most absurd movie ever presented on big-screen, but it is also one of the most unintentionally hilarious movies I've seen in a long long time. I'm not even going to go into detail here... the plot is utterly disposable and you can probably guess it just by reading the back of the box. The acting is shallow, and the dialog even worse, and Ice Cube proves he can act even worse than LL Cool J. The villains are totally ridiculous and the CG effects border on ludicrous. I'm actually shocked they didn't try to come up with a role for Luda himself given his stellar performance in Too Fast Too Furious. All that aside, it is one of the most entertaining 84 minutes that I've spent in a long time. Like watching a live action cartoon that makes the Adventures of Wile E. Coyote and the Roadrunner seem realistic. If you can stomach horrible cinema, I can't recommend this movie enough (keep in mind I'm well aware that this movie sucks -- hence the the 5 rating on the meter, but it's a total guilty pleasure, nonetheless).

Also watched Stealth (way bad), Tokyo Drift, both XXX movies, Extreme Ops, and have rented Planet of the Apes (Tim Burton) because I'm sure it will suck. As far as movies that don't suck go, I rewatched Izo and Gozu, finally got around to watching Spontaneous Combustion (again), Trauma, and the Black Hawk Down director's cut (which is awesome). Oh, and I rented MI:III, too... big P.S. Hoffman fan over here.

That out of the way, I can't wait to see Borat tonight. I rewatched Ali G Indahouse to remind myself how hilarious Cohen really is. And the thing that I think makes him most endearing is that regardless of how preposterous and crude his comedy may be, it's actually extremely intelligent, and a fine statement regarding the current state of affairs not just in the US, but around the world as well.

And that just about covers it.

Not boring, but pretty bad. It's essentially a Hong Kong movie with American actors so some of the action scenes look kinda awkward and unnatural. Like why would a bunch of non-Asians instinctively use martial arts when they fight? One is ok; two is fine; but all of them? I'm not being racist; it's just weird. It's also a cut and paste job. It basically carbon copies the best racing scenes from recent movies - like the Michelle Yeoh train sequence from Supercop, the skirt scene from Driven, lots of scenes from The Fast and The Furious and Mission Impossible 2, and probably a bunch more that I don't recall at the moment. It's all technically well done, it's you just that you've seen them before in other films. The writing is also really, really bad. When a guy was strangled to death with a chain, Ice Cube's one-liner was "Well, isn't this IRONIC." Yeah. That bad. There's also a bunch of guys TRYING really hard to act cool. The Fast and The Furious had Vin Diesel; imagine if his character was replaced with another Paul Walker.

"I live my life a quarter-mile at a time."

From the producer of The Fast and the Furious, XXX, and S.W.A.T., Neal H. Moritz and Joseph Kahn bring you a most torquetastic experience!

The movie starts with an introduction of a bad- ass character to end all bad-ass characters. As random "dudes" wearing extremely colorful clothing bully a random kid, motorcycle enthusiast Martin Henderson appears, and asks this strangely profound question that will leave the viewer thinking about it for days on end:

"What is it about driving cars that makes you all such assholes?"

This is certainly not your average dumb summer movie!

Oh yes. This movie has everything. From super bad- ass characters that opt to keep their heads tilted down and look angry at the entire duration of the film (with Jamie Pressley winning the award for, "Character with the most 'tude!" thanks to her extremely dark make-up and silent approach to her mysterious character), to motorcycle kung-fu! Yes, folks, motorcycle kung-fu. As if Martin Henderson using his motorcycle to open a train door in one of the film's most exciting and CGI-laden action scenes wasn't enough, we get two chicks duking it out with their motorcycles while HUGE logos of PEPSI and MOUNTAIN DEW are prominently featured in the background. Talk about artistically using product placement! Oscar-worthy dialogue is then spewed out towards the end of this thrilling motorcycle kung-fu fight scene:

"You messed with the wrong chick!"

"Looks like you did... bitch!"

But that's not all! There's also a Return of the Jedi-esque chase scene in the woods. As Ice Cube and his gang discover our hero Martin Henderson, they proceed to chase and shoot at his friends, where renowned music video director Joseph Kahn was kind enough to show us yellow, laser-like beams of light which represents the bullets flying dangerously close to our heroes a la Pearl Harbor. And let's not forget the almost incomprehensible final chase, as a Y2K motorcycle "that can go to 200 mph in less than ten seconds" goes after a "normal" motorcycle, but strangely enough chooses to stay behind it despite the speeds it can reach. Apparently motorcycles reach a life of their own in this film for they can have a sense of humor as well. Eat your heart out, Pixar.

Neal H. Moritz is my hero

10

:rotten:.1/2
Torque is a very poorly Directed, Written and badly Cast(with Ice Cube giving a very clique performance) movie. the only thing this film offers is suprisingly good action scenes and the very sexy Moni Mazur(who looks just like maria bello). do yourself a favor, try to avoid seeing this.:down: